Life’s Amazing Secrets: How to Find Balance and Purpose in Your Life

by Gaur Gopal Das

To me listening to understand is more important than listening to reply.

We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.

when we think negatively of people, we should immediately counteract that energy by contemplating three positive qualities they have.

Gratitude is not a feeling; it is a state of mind that can be developed, and it allows us to tap into a reservoir of unlimited positive energy. Being grateful happens in two steps. The first is to realize that there is good in the world and that good has fallen upon us. The second is to know that goodness is coming from something other than us, an external reality is giving the gifts of grace to our very own reality. This could be our family, our friends, nature and even God. We have so much to be grateful for!

The next stage is to remember what others have done for us to mean that thank you. Contemplation is by far one of the best methods to develop gratitude. Spending time with our own mind in silence, without any gadgets to stimulate us and contemplating on who has helped us internalizes our gratitude.’

We must learn how to press pause and reflect on what we are grateful for. It is not good enough to say that we are too busy to be grateful. If we do not press pause, how many beautiful moments of our life are we missing?

The ways to start practising gratitude are: to recognise the good that has been done unto us and say ‘thank you’; to remember the good and mean it; and to reciprocate through actions of giving back and live by the same values.

Many of our problems lie in not understanding our fundamental identity: we are not human beings having spiritual experiences; we are spiritual beings having human experiences.

This whole universe is connected, as are the parts of our life. When we treat things with disrespect, we may start doing the same with the people we love. All aspects of our life are integrated.

How do we practise being sensitive? We must treat even inanimate objects with consideration and respect. If we do not, then the mentality of insensitivity may become a part of our general attitude.

We can perceive people in the following five ways: See only bad and magnify it. See good and bad, neglect the good and focus on the bad. See good and bad, and be neutral to both. See good and bad, choose to focus on the good and neglect the bad. See the good and magnify it. The ideal state is the fourth stage, in which one’s relationships flourish.

‘It is said that we can control two things in our life, our desires and our motives. Our desires govern what we want and our motives tell us why we want it.

Corrective feedback is an art. It has four principles. Ask yourself: Am I the right person to give corrective feedback? Do I have the right motive to give corrective feedback? Do I know the right way to give corrective feedback? Is it the right time?

Look beyond the situation: If we are hurt by someone’s words, try to understand why they spoke them. When people act harshly towards us, most of the time they are suffering too. This is empathy. Separate the episode from the person: Rather than being affected by the emotion of guilt by saying, ‘I am wrong,’ or anger by saying, ‘You are wrong,’ we should separate the I or the You and deal with the wrong.

Offering gifts and accepting gifts, opening one’s mind and inquiring in confidence, sharing food and receiving food are the six exchanges that develop loving relationships.

‘Watch your thoughts, they turn into words. Watch your words, they turn into actions. Watch your actions, they turn into habits. Watch your habits, they turn into character. Watch your character, it turns into your destiny.’ It all begins with a thought.

What do you love? What are you good at? What does the world need? What can you get paid for?

‘Live your life in such a way that those who know you but don’t know God, will come to know God because they know you.’

Philosophy without good character is of little or no value.

Good character has the ability to change lives. It has to do with our actions, not our words.

Vichaar: The life philosophy we follow. We must learn from it. Aachaar: The action based on that philosophy. We must do it. Prachaar: The good conduct that is displayed to the world through those actions. We must practise it. What great men do, common men follow.

‘You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.’

Relationships at home can work well only if all parties have low expectations of each other, but high expectations of themselves to help the other. At

Love for God is composed of three things: Right Action: We must express our love through the correct action. We must behave and act in a way that is in line with spiritual principles. Right Intention: Our intentions must be selfless. When we want something for ourselves in return for our service, such as prestige or money, our intentions become tainted. Just as distilling water multiple times makes it cleaner, continuously checking our intentions makes them purer. Right Mood: We must serve in a way that is favourable for our growth. Serving because ‘we have to’ or because ‘it’s the right thing to do’ is good, but it’s not the same as serving from the depths of our hearts.

Jesus Christ said in the Bible, ‘The highest commandment is to love thy God with all thy soul and all thy might and all thy heart.’