It's Not About the Burqa: Muslim Women on Faith, Feminism, Sexuality and Race

by Mariam Khan

We are the revolution. Be too loud. Swear too much. Go too far.

You think all your memories are yours alone, but often they are given by others: versions of events repeated by family, scenes stolen from a movie watched half-sleeping, dreams willed into existence.

She loved him so deeply he would still appear in her dreams decades later.

‘Never, ever let people make you feel ashamed for who you are. You know what is right and wrong in your heart, and it is your heart that Allah sees, that I see, and that you have to see every day when you look in the mirror. No one has the right to judge you.’

A book can make a home for itself in both your heart and mind, and it can provide the direction you need to succeed in life.

the choice to live on one’s own terms was not forbidden in my religion.

She believed in a woman’s right to not just live on her own terms, but to live those choices with dignity and respect.

When a woman travels from A to B, she will encounter mad dogs along the route who will bark at her. Some men (and there are many women too) will always shout discouragement to a woman on her path to success. The thing to do is to ignore them. Never stop to reason with a mad dog.

To me, being Muslim is steeped in my faith and practice of Islam;

when Muslim women – both traditional and non – are equally and fairly represented, then I’ll buy into the idea that there is tolerance, diversity, and holistic acceptance of Muslim women.

hijab was and is supposed to be an expression of faith and Muslim identity

there is not one type of Muslim woman. There are millions of us occupying our own spaces, changing our own worlds in our own small ways, contributing to what we believe to be the greater good. Fighting for the rights of the minorities within the minorities and seeking representation in industries that value us for more than how we look.

we are only travellers, just passing through; but the mark we make will be written into history forever.

the only representation worth seeking, in the eyes of the All-Seer, the Most Merciful.

you can choose how to live your life, even when you are completely different from the norm.

Once you have begun the journey of awakening, there is no turning back. Your eyes have been opened to the ways of the world. These are forces not easily unseen.

Opening your eyes to the light can help you see, but it can also blind you. That is not the fault of the light, but our bodies can only carry so much, and our eyes cannot continue to see without blinking.

the hijab became a symbol of solidarity.

Those were the times my head hit the prayer mat, in tears and dreaming of death. During those nights, I felt that I had failed at everything.

My hijab was my armour, something for me to fiddle with when people asked me uncomfortable questions.

Nothing hurts the ego of a self-important man – be he imam or racist – more than the laughter of a carefree young woman who knows what she’s worth.

Humility is knowing that in the grand scheme of things you are not that important. It grounds you and allows you to grow emotionally.

Realizing that your self-worth is tied to more than domesticity and beauty is pretty powerful.

It was culture and its contradictions that made my life complicated.

Islam connects each person with their maker directly. He is closer to us than our jugular vein. So, why then do people think they can and should come between him and us?

We, two people who had once loved each other, became better people by leaving each other.

good relationships are good from the start and not something to be achieved through effort.

Nothing demands self-consciousness like the feeling of difference. Difference roots you to the ground.

Belonging is like a trampoline. It is having the awareness that no matter how high you jump, how many risks you take, there is a place down there that will absorb the force of your fall should you ever come crashing down. Belonging will propel you back up from such a fall. Higher.

Sometimes, speaking someone’s story is the only way to keep them with you.

No one woman can speak for all Muslim women – for that rich and varied tapestry of experiences, practice, belief and ways of being. We need as many stories and storytellers as there are people, a greater cacophony of diverse voices and views, and listeners who welcome them.