It's Not About the Burqa: Muslim Women on Faith, Feminism, Sexuality and Race

by Mariam Khan

Muslim women are more than burqas, more than hijabs, and more than society has allowed us to be until now.

Writing is dangerous because we are afraid of what the writing reveals: the fears, the angers, the strengths of a woman under a triple or quadruple oppression.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

‘Never, ever let people make you feel ashamed for who you are. You know what is right and wrong in your heart, and it is your heart that Allah sees, that I see, and that you have to see every day when you look in the mirror. No one has the right to judge you.’

‘Because independent women never end up with rubbish men, do they?

She believed in a woman’s right to not just live on her own terms, but to live those choices with dignity and respect.

First Lady of the United States of America Eleanor Roosevelt who said that ‘no one can make you feel inferior without your consent’

What is the point of being represented if it is only our image that is invited to the table?

the diverse nature of Muslim communities ultimately means there will never be one figure we’d be happy to see representing us. Representation will always come in bits and pieces, and those representing will not all look like me or be cut from the same cloth. We also need to understand that one person’s whole existence cannot seek to represent us.

To me, being Muslim is steeped in my faith and practice of Islam;

We’ve forgotten that the hijab is not supposed to be a fashion statement or an expression of choice and freedoms to appease a secular-liberal audience; hijab was and is supposed to be an expression of faith and Muslim identity – that’s where it began, and that is where it was supposed to end.

And He found you wandering and guided [you]—Surah Duha, 93:7

if you want to make us feel included, stop singling us out. If you truly believe it is not about the burqa, prove it and stop talking about it. It is not the duty of Muslim women to have to educate entire nations about boundaries, choices, and representation, and neither is it our duty to justify what we choose to wear.

The implication was that having a child is a life stage when the difference between women and their male colleagues becomes irrefutable.

we cannot change our past perspectives, but we can certainly reflect on them, own them, and commit to growing from them.

the ‘well, you cannot be sad because other people have it worse’ argument. Not only are these arguments dangerous, but they are also invalid in Islam.

Islam encourages us to take both practical and spiritual approaches to problems.

Prayers usually take up to ten minutes each and comprise that small section of the day when Muslims can escape their daily lives and connect with God.

When at my lowest, I found that prayer offered me companionship, because even though I felt alone, I still had God to talk to, and I knew He was listening.

Islam is a religion that empowers women.

For me, the hijab became a symbol of solidarity.

Men who are built up by their parents to be the golden child, untouched by dishwater or manners, tend to be emotionally stunted. They lack self-awareness and respect for women. Instead, they have been taught that others should live in deference to them purely because they have a penis.

sad but it's true. I can see a man like this in my neighborhood

Using humour to defeat the racist trolls is an underrated strength.

I read somewhere that if you’re not embarrassed by who you were ten years ago then you’re not living life deeply enough.

Islam states that daughters are blessings, that the man who treats his daughters kindly and educates them will be with the Prophet in heaven. But culture dictates that the families of women bear their pain stoically. It is their fate. It is utter bullshit.

My nani taught me that Islam is simple. ‘It is about two things,’ she said, ‘loving God and loving his people.’

‘Times have changed and our women have changed with them, but our men have yet to catch up.’

the love of a good man, a happy home and healthy children. Surely, this should be every woman’s right.

you cannot talk about sex in Islam without also encountering culture and the patriarchy.

Muslim men can often be routine and systematic in their approach to sex, the years of privilege manifesting between the sheets as they take their pleasure without considering female satisfaction. We need spaces for them to unlearn inherent misogyny and begin a sexual education that emphasises the participation of two people in sex, not just one.

We need to view women in a new light, away from the shadows of shame, guilt and age-old stereotypes that have been inflicted upon them.