The Montessori Toddler: A Parent's Guide to Raising a Curious and Responsible Human Being

by Simone Davies

Dealing with tantrums UNDERSTAND TRIGGERS AND AVOID THEM IF POSSIBLE • Frustration • Anger or rage when things don’t go their way • Wanting to be in control • Trouble communicating as their language may still be limited HELP YOUR CHILD CALM DOWN • Offer a cuddle—rub their back, hold them, sing to them as they go through the range of emotions, from anger to intense frustration to sadness and sometimes regret. • If they push you away, make sure they are safe and not harming themselves, something, or someone. Stand nearby and keep offering help. “I’m here if you need some help calming down. Or we can have a cuddle when you are ready.” • If they are throwing toys at their sibling or trying to hit you, remove them so that everyone is safe. “I can’t let you hit me. My safety is important to me. Would you like to hit these pillows instead?” OLDER CHILDREN • For a child over 3 years old, you can set up a “calm place” to use when they are upset, such as a tent with pillows and their favorite things or a corner with some trains. • You can ask them if they would like to go to their calm place. If they come back still in a rage, we can gently tell them that they look like they still need to calm down and can come back when they are ready. MAKING AMENDS—DON’T SKIP THIS STEP Once they are calm, I help them make amends. For example, if they drew on the walls, they can help clean up; if they broke their brother’s toy, they can help to fix it. In this way, they learn to take responsibility...