Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Lucy Yukhan
Read between
January 18 - February 8, 2021
I want to invite you to write your own little self-love mantra. Repeat it in the morning as soon as you wake up and before you open your eyes.
As soon as you notice you're feeling a “negative” emotion you can say in your head “I'm feeling jealous” and immediately it should be followed by a feeding of self-love - the mantra we discussed in the previous chapter. It would look something like this “I'm feeling jealous… but I love myself, I respect myself and I deserve to be happy”. After this, you can turn your attention back to what you were doing until the emotion rises again.
Writing down your experiences to reframe your perspective can help you transcend your painful setbacks and further reshape your new story (Susan Gregory et.al, 2016).
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.
I would like to invite you to start giving yourself compliments. It may seem silly at first, especially if you're not the kind of person who gives compliments at all - even to other people.it doesn't matter. Do it anyway. When you notice you did an awesome job at something - even if it's something small - take a moment to acknowledge that in your mind.
Tell yourself that you love yourself. Look in the mirror… look into your eyes while you're doing it. It will feel uncomfortable at first. You don't normally talk to yourself unless you do which is great too and helpful in this case.
Keep your own word to yourself. It's crucial. It will establish self-trust and self-respect which are vital ingredients of self-love.
This was one of my first tools. The exercise is to write or speak positive affirmations every morning. Here are the rules: They must start with “I am” (for example “I am beautiful”) They must be short. Pick 3-5 things to work on at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. They must be in real time. (you're already beautiful, not “will be”
Today I invite you to actually pay attention to your body. Brush your hair gently, with love. When you shower, caress your body, arms, legs - everything. Touch each finger and each toe gently and with care. Touch your face. Caress it. Think about what an amazing body it is and how much work it's doing for you every second.
Get to know you. Don't be afraid to be alone. Make time to spend by yourself. Put your phone on airplane mode and just sit. If you live with someone you love, wouldn't you want to sit with them? Of course, you would.
Meditate.
This is a fun one. Make a list of your good qualities. Are you a great mom or dad? Awesome sister? Are you a good cook? Are you a loyal person? Write it all down! You can include your personal achievements and anything else that makes you feel good about yourself. Print it and put it where you can see it every day. Let this serve you as a reminder: You're awesome!
If you have no boundaries you let people walk all over you. People whose' boundaries are nonexistent take everything to heart and everyone's opinion feels like the law of the universe. If this is you, try to be aware of how important or unimportant the person is in your life. Who is in charge of your life?
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”
Do random acts of kindness. Buy lunch for a homeless person. Adopt or foster a pet. Donate to a charity (my favorite charity is “water” as while this rarely crosses our minds living in the first world countries, there are many people in the world who don't even have clean water to drink!
What I invite you to do is eat healthy foods. No need to spend time and money on numerous diets, just eat more vegetables, try not to overeat and pay attention to your body. After you eat that big bag of chips does your body feel good? How about that steak? Everybody is different so you have to find your own way of eating that will make you feel good. You can also see a nutritionist and have them help you find what works for you.
Make moving your body part of your life. Don't just decide to do it to lose weight. That will never work. Instead, think of all the benefits exercise can give you. Think about loving your body and keeping it healthy.
What I would like to invite you to do when you feel you're comparing yourself to others is to acknowledge your feelings and feed yourself self-love. Remember the little manta we talked about in chapter one? That's what I'm talking about. Repeat it to yourself several times “I'm feeling insecure but I love myself and I respect myself”.
You need to forgive yourself.
The last step is to add the words “I forgive myself” to your morning mirror routine. I intentionally didn't mention it sooner because self-forgiveness deserves its own chapter. It's very important to your self-love and overall life quality.
It doesn't have to be much. Designate 15 minutes per day to do something for yourself. It can be giving yourself a manicure, taking a bubble bath or simply cuddling in bed with your favorite book.
When you're feeling small inside you tend to make your body small also. You slouch your shoulders and keep your head down. When you're feeling great and confident - and in love, with yourself, you want to show yourself to everyone and you hold your head high.
Pick a date 3-6 months from now and talk about what you have achieved and how you feel on this date. (about a paragraph) (in real time. You're writing as if it's already this date)
Today I invite you to think about all the things you accomplished in your life. All the things you've been through - and you made it! And look at you working on yourself and learning to love yourself! Not everyone is trying even half as hard!
Today I invite you, in a very loving way to honor the child within. What would you do if you didn't have to think about what everyone will think? What would you do if you could do anything? Would you dance? Draw? Write? Would you join a comedy club? Would you sing? Figure out… no, remember what it is that you love to do and do that!
Today I invite you to speak up or yourself! If the boss is doing something that's causing you discomfort you might want to mention it to him or her. They might not even know anything is bothering you.
Today I invite you to spend time with yourself like you would with someone you love - do the things you love to do. Finally, fulfill that desire that you've been holding on to since childhood or maybe it's something that developed later in life. What we know for sure is that we only have a limited number of hours on this Earth and when you love yourself you want to make the most of every minute.
If you start with huge goals with not much preparation you might get discouraged very easily.
“If you are on social media, and you are not learning, not laughing, not being inspired or not networking, then you are using it wrong.” ~Germany Kent
Please don't put this book on the shelf and forget about it. Use it.
