Michael Carrick: Between the Lines: My Autobiography

by Michael Carrick

I also had to attend an England Selection Course at Lilleshall shortly before I was due to join West Ham permanently. I got the train to Lilleshall, and Mam and Dad and my girlfriend Lisa, now my wife, drove down to watch. Lisa has been with me from the beginning, always by my side for me to lean on; an absolute rock of support every step of the way. To think how young and innocent we were back then. When the game finished,

The team I put on a pedestal most were Manchester United and it was here that I began falling in love with the club. Whenever West Ham played Manchester United, there was always a different buzz around Upton Park. I’d look at Roy Keane, Gary Neville, David Beckham and Ryan Giggs and analyse how they walked out of the changing room, seeing if they said anything or if they were just totally focused. I tried to pick up

Early on I thought, ‘It’s hard, this. I want to go home.’ I never told anyone at West Ham, but I told Lisa. I didn’t have a mobile, so we wrote to each other all the time and I told her how tough it was. I’d always get a little boost when one of her letters would drop through the door. Lisa always sensed what I needed, whether I needed to be left alone, or given a lift. She just gets me.

I first met Lisa at the church hall in Wallsend where my parents and hers were having a party on New Year’s Eve. I was quiet, shy and didn’t really say too much to her. She was so differnt to me, confident and outgoing. I had my eye on her straight away, with her blonde curly hair, but I never thought I stood a chance. Lisa was friends with my mates Steven Bradley and Stephen Rutherford, who were more outgoing than me. We used to all meet up on our bikes to go to Wallsend Park and play tennis or cycle down to Whitley Bay and get the bus back to avoid cycling uphill.

That season marked my first encounter with the hardest of them all: Roy Keane. We played Manchester United at Upton Park but the game that really stood out for me was the fourth round of the FA Cup at Old Trafford in January 2001. That match pitched me completely against Keane’s power and also showed me the sheer size and strength of Manchester United. On the bus from the Worsley Marriott to Old Trafford, I couldn’t believe the tens of thousands of United fans streaming to the ground. I realised Manchester United were more than a football club. They were a religion. I saw all these fans hurrying into Old Trafford as if it were a cathedral and it was time to pay homage, and I began to understand what United meant to people.

Walking out of the tunnel at Anfield was something else. The difference between being there in a United shirt, rather than a West Ham or Spurs one, hit me like a giant wave of noise, insults and hatred. Liverpool fans on all sides were standing up, abusing me, shouting, ‘You Manc Twat’, ‘Carrick, you’re shit’, ‘You Geordie bastard’, which made me smile. Most of it came during the warm-up when it’s quiet and I’d hear shouts, someone trying to get a laugh off his mates by abusing me, harmless really. I’ve had it where the ball’s gone out, and a Liverpool fan throws it back hard at my chest, trying to be clever and make his mates happy. I’d smile back, just to show them they were wasting their breath, which wound them up even more, so, good, job done. It’s great all that. It gives me a buzz and makes me laugh. It’s football rivalry at its best.

The strangest three friends in the world were Patrice Evra, Ji-sung Park and Carlos Tévez – they were totally inseparable, playing one touch, two touch in training together every day. God knows how they communicated – one from France, one South Korea, one Argentina – but they just loved being together, and being at United.

Anderson was up next. Ando had some terrible injuries but what a talented kid he was. The Boss loved him, played him in big games against Steven Gerrard and Liverpool at Anfield in December. Ando stood up to that test, and would surely do the same here, wouldn’t he? Ando was fearless and he needed to be now he was facing Čech. I couldn’t watch. Only looking at the DVD later did I realise that Ando took his penalty as if he didn’t have a care in the world, and smashed it in.

– people are happy to see someone successful suffer.

I focused on the game but with five minutes to go, we led 3–0 and it hit me. I looked around Old Trafford thinking, This is it. I’m leaving. I had a lump in my throat, and said to myself, ‘Right, this really is it now. This is never again.’ Louise and Jacey were again mascots and they ran on at the end and joined me as I walked around with the other players, thanking the fans. It was the saddest lap of honour I’ve ever been on. Heading up the tunnel, I said to the stewards and security staff, people I’ve known for years, ‘That’s me finished now.’ ‘Thanks for what you’ve done, Michael,