Evidence of the Affair

by Taylor Jenkins Reid

How do you hold it inside and not let it show on your face?

It is funny the crazy things our brains make up to save us from the truth.

He was a safe choice.

he’s the same Ken I’ve always known and loved

It’s just that he’s capable of things I never knew.

For curiosity’s sake, I’m almost happy when I find one. I always want more information. And yet I’m always miserable after I’ve read them.

I seem to be a glutton for punishment.

I find it pretty easy to look like nothing is happening when everything has changed.

You ignited something in me that I’m not sure has ever truly been touched before. Something I never even knew to want.

We have to forget about each other.

love being the woman I am when I’m with you. I feel like everything in the world is exciting, and everything is something easy and fun to do.

I am living, in our moments together, with no worries.

It is as if I have lived with a hard shell all over my body and you have cracked it and it has all fallen off. I am fresh again.

I am afraid of losing all that I have ever known.

here is how I get through the days: I spend every moment I am alone asking myself what sort of future I want. Instead of thinking of what has happened, I think of what will make me happy one day, hopefully soon.

I know you only as handwriting on a page, and yet you might be my closest friend.

Do you ever feel like your life got away from you somehow? Lately, it feels like my whole life has a similar feeling to when you check the clock on a Saturday and realize it’s already half past four.

This just isn’t how it was all supposed to go.

I don’t remember when things got so hard. But life has been a matter of keeping our heads above water for years now.

Often, I feel overwhelmed by this sinking feeling in my heart that I will never be enough.

You seemed like a dream, an apparition.

My world is black and white, and you are Technicolor.

The knowledge that you

will soon be in my arms again is enough to carry me through.

I’ve always been struck by the idea that you can’t be all that happy something has returned if it doesn’t go away in the first place.

my heart feels like an eternal December with no April in sight?

There I am, hoping someone might choose me, while the rest of the world goes on dancing.

I will be here dancing with you for as long as we want to get groovy.

Delights can be hard to come by recently, so I truly cherish getting to laugh with you.

How do you keep such a sincere heart in the middle of all this?

Sometimes I think mine might turn to stone any minute now, and yet every time I see you I soften, reminded of how you still choose kindness over anger at every step.

It seems as if you see me exactly as I wish to be seen. There is no greater gift than that.

You lack nothing at all.

Thank you for helping me hold my head a bit higher at a time in which it has every reason to hang low.

It breaks my heart that no one had been smelling your hair.

you are my sandbar. I was lost at sea, and then you showed up. My dry land.

Thank you for helping me remember how to be happy.