If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: The Graduation Speeches and Other Words to Live By

by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Your class spokesperson mourned the collapse of the institution of marriage in this country. Marriage is collapsing because our families are too small. A man cannot be a whole society to a woman, and a woman cannot be a whole society to a man. We try, but it is scarcely surprising that so many of us go to pieces. So I recommend that everybody here join all sorts of organizations, no matter how ridiculous, simply to get more people in his or her life. It does not matter much if all the other members are morons. Quantities of relatives of any sort are what we need.

I think life is no way to treat an animal, and not just people, but pigs and chickens, too. Life just hurts too much.

there is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don’t know what can be done to fix it. This is it: only nutcases want to be president.

We might have psychiatrists examine all the candidates. But who but a nutcase would want to be a psychiatrist?

I wouldn’t trust any one of you, no matter how friendly and innocent you may appear, any farther than I could throw you. Because you’re human. And for the love of God, as the Christians say, please don’t trust me. I couldn’t stand it.