Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

by Soraya Chemaly

“women murdered by male partners are seen as property.” Property can’t fight back.

Women should be angry about the violence and fear that inform so much of our lives. So should men. Anger is the emotion that best protects us against danger, unfairness, and injustice.

Women contend all the time with people assuming we are assistants. If we are black or brown, we are further assumed to be “cleaning ladies” and janitors.

the Matilda effect: the attributing of women’s discoveries and research to male peers.

Girls’ higher grades in school are as tied to their being “good,” meaning quiet, as they are to mastery of subject matter. This compliance puts girls and women at a disadvantage as they move into college and the workplace, where disruptive speech is an element of competence, self-promotion, and competitiveness.

“women’s speech”—frequently more submissive and less assertive—is a specific genre of speech. Crosscultural analyses suggest that “women’s speech” is actually “powerless speech,” employed by lower-status people, regardless of sex.

women need to constitute a supermajority, or roughly 70 percent of a room, in order to achieve parity and influence. If they don’t, they have a difficult time being perceived as powerful, influential, or important speakers.

“10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn.” The ten words are: “Stop interrupting me,” “I just said that,” and “No explanation needed.”

Women, for the record, also interrupt and talk over other people, but the quality of interruptions differs. For example, men use interruptions more disruptively to shift the direction of conversation, while women might interrupt in ways that prompt more conversation in the same direction.

Women with tenure, expertise, and knowledge are routinely passed over in favor of mediocre men with less of all. Across industries, endless parades of all-male panels (or “manels,” as they are not-so-affectionately called) suggest that women are incapable of simultaneously sitting in chairs, thinking, and speaking out loud.

Corporate indifference to women’s thinking and work is evident in everything from the fact that influential tech leaders don’t find women interesting enough to follow on Twitter, to womanless Nobel Prizes; from women-bereft gender-equality conferences, to all-male women’s reproductive health panels.

All-male panels are organized “mansplaining.”

“Why listen to the female astronaut when there’s a shirtless guy?”

flight attendant shouted, “Call overhead for a physician on board!”

“Oh, no, sweetie, put your hand down. We are looking for actual physicians or nurses or some type of medical personnel; we don’t have time to talk to you.”

“Oh, wow, you’re an actual physician?” “Yes.” Instead of escorting Dr. Cross to the man in distress, the attendant proceeded to interrogate her: “What type of doctor are you? Where do you work? Why were you in Detroit?” By now, another physician, who happened to be a white man, had come forward to volunteer. “Thanks for your help,” the attendant told Dr. Cross dismissively, “but he can help us, and he has his credentials.”

While both men and women share these biases, the idea that women are less capable of complex thought is more common among men.

the antiwoman gender bias among men was nineteen times that of the women.

We learn to expect women to speak less, so when we talk, it always seems like we are talking too much. Women are supposed to be quieter and, when they speak, apologetic.

“Shut up,” snapped the aging punk rocker. “Whoever you are, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Now, listen, when a man is talking, do not interrupt.”

“Are you done? Shut up so I can talk . . . It’s beneath me to be interviewed by you. You are a woman.”

“Can you just shut up for a moment?” Sanders, an African American, had been asserting that the combative Cuccinelli was “dismissing” the idea that white supremacy was a national issue.

Jurors, particularly men, may be less likely to find a defendant guilty if the prosecutor is a woman.

a woman defendant is overweight, male jurors are, additionally, more likely to find her guilty.

Women of color and working-class women, who use language in ways that are more likely to defy mainstream norms about femininity, victimhood, and anger, ...

linguistically favor higher-status people by assuming that all speakers are equal...

Women have to work doubly, triply hard to be considered credible and authoritative.

They are more likely to trust women when women talk about themselves and not about other people. When women don’t conform to social-role expectations, the doubting effects are magnified. In addition, a majority of people will assert that women are more honest as individuals, yet—incoherently—cannot be trusted to lead in the same way that men can. Women’s displays of anger, seen as gender transgressive, can exacerbate all of these biases.

ageism. The notion of older women’s anger is even less appealing than girls’ nascent rage. Older women are supposed to disappear or, if not, at least be quiet and take care of others.

books written by women are priced 45 percent less than those by men.

In Silicon Valley, start-up companies founded by and managed by men received sixteen times more venture funding than those founded and run by women,

Studies have found that projects run by men get twice the budget and three times the people power.

“black-sounding” names are not only overlooked or undervalued but also associated with troublemaking.

women were castigated repeatedly for personality and communication skills, such as: “Pay attention to your tone,” “Stop being so judgmental!” “Let others shine,” “Step back,” and “Be a little more patient.”

Behavioral scientists recognize two related but distinct types of sexism: hostile and benevolent.

Benevolent sexism, also known as ambivalent sexism, is tricky because it broadcasts the “special” value of women and the “protective” strength of men.

It’s a solid way to make people feel good while they are being materially discriminated against.

Children are often taught benevolent sexism in lessons about politeness that focus on “young ladies” and “young gentlemen.”

The historic relevance of women as property and of some women—ladies—being “good” and worthy of respect, while others—sluts—are “bad” and not deserving of respect is central to benevolent sexism.

Women are also benevolently sexist. Who doesn’t delight in being treated as special?

Nlog

Women who see their roles exclusively as “nurturers” and “supporters” tacitly trade authority and the ability to work as peers for safety and the responsibilities of traditional roles. This often results, interpe...

Benevolent sexists put women on pedestals, perpetuating the idea of dependency and...

Endorsing benevolent sexism also affects how women see themselves and treat other women. Women who encounter or believe in benevolent sexism demonstrate higher levels of body shame, self-silencing, self-objectification, and self-surveillance. Benevolently sexist women are more likely to victim-blame women who have been assaulted in cases of intimate-partner or sexual violence.

A rigid and punitive belief in traditional gender roles isn’t simply a matter of personal choice when the people making policy decisions have the power to institutionalize their beliefs.

According to Riane Eisler, author of The Real Wealth of Nations: Creating a Caring Economics, if women’s caregiving work labor were included, it would make up between 30 percent and 50 percent of our reported GDP.

With little or no public commentary outside of feminist spaces, we continue to ignore the work that primarily women do, whether it’s carrying water in Namibia, gathering firewood in India, or ferrying young soccer players to and from practice in Middle America.

Gender-role expectations and the biases baked into them are inseparable from religiosity.

women, valorized as mothers and wives, are supposed to cede public authority to men.

When a girl is told to cross her legs and close the gates to hell, when she can’t truly participate in religious services, play on coed sports teams, is required to wear clothes that limit her mobility and impair her health, is this sexism or love?

women are charged more for everything from car repairs, cleaning supplies, and dry cleaning, to health insurance and mortgages.