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“There wasn’t anything I could do,” I said, wiping my hands with a paper towel. Traces of grease still stuck underneath my fingernails. I walked past her to the bedroom, where I took off my uniform. The children were asleep in the bed under the window, and I moved quietly so that I wouldn’t rouse them. Elena was eight at the time, and Daniel was six. Both citizens, I want to be clear about that. Everything I did was for them. Or didn’t do, you might say.
What did a sophisticated boy like him, a boy who already knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life—aid management in developing countries—ever want with me? I could not think of a satisfying answer to that question, which was why I started to arrange my life around his.
In other words, I had been trying to hold on to the past at all cost.