Her Cherry (Objects of Attraction, #2)

by Penelope Bloom

Pro tip… An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

“It’s almost as effective as whispering sweet nothings in a woman’s ear. Just like this.” He leaned in close. “Sweet nothings,” he whispered.

"Sometimes I wonder what goes on in your head." "What's there to wonder? It's exactly what comes out of my mouth." She shook her head, smiling. "Why am I not surprised?" "Who is this handsome young man?" Grammy was looking up at Bruce. She had her shock-white hair in a puffy little q-tip style today. Her eyes were bright and blue as ever, and she still looked like if you gave her a cross look, she'd uppercut you in the jaw without a second thought. The woman was terrifying, but kind of cute, in an old lady sort of way. "I'm Bruce Chamberson. This is my wife, Natasha." Grammy took them both in with hard eyes, then nodded and smiled. "I like you better than your brother, Bruce. He's a real dickhole." "What the fuck?" I asked. "You stole my slippers. I know it was you!" She said, jabbing her finger at me. I held up my palms. "Woah, woah, there. Just because I've stolen a few things in my past, it doesn't mean you get to go around blaming me when dementia starts to set in." "That's it," she said, popping up to her feet. "Today is the day I cut a bitch." I burst out laughing. "Have you been watching Cops or something?" "Would you two get along for once?" Hailey asked in a bored voice. "If you tell the old coot to stop profiling me every damn day, maybe," I said sourly. "If your delinquent boyfriend steals from me one more time, I'm going to choke him out with all that money of his." "You don't have the upper body strength!" "Seriously?" Bruce was standing beside me, looking dow...

"Just gonna need to—yep, just let me—give me the fucking thing!" I growled as she finally let me wrestle the mic from her hand. The last of my sentence boomed into the microphone and silenced the crowd. "I'll give it back, calm down. I just had a message for my lady." Hailey was already burying her face in her hands, but she spread her fingers just enough to peek out at me. "We first met when I bought your cherry and deflowered you. We almost broke apart when you threw a cherry pie so hard at my head it nearly killed me. And now I want to end this the way it started. With a cherry." I pulled a cherry from my pocket and lobbed it toward her. When I rehearsed this in my head, the Hailey I imagined had some semblance of athleticism and hand-eye coordination. Real-life Hailey apparently had neither. The cherry bonked straight into her forehead and fell to the floor. Her head whipped back in surprise and she clapped her hands to her forehead. "Oh. Shit," I muttered into the mic before dropping it and jogging down to where she sat. The crowd was muttering as I got to her and found the cherry on the floor. I grabbed the recliner of an old man who was asleep in front of her and shoved it forward so I had room to kneel in front of her. I held the cherry up to her on one knee. "Will you eat my cherry?" "What?" she asked. "Bite it," I said. She looked worried, like she thought maybe I'd lost my mind. "It was on the floor!" "Just a nibble, but do it slowly so you don't break your teet...