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“Because life is fucked up and doesn’t work like the fairy tales we used to watch as little girls. Life is complicated, a roller coaster of emotions that strips us bare and exposes all of our insecurities.
“Just a girl who knows what she likes. I like sex, Donovan, good fucking sex. The kind of sex that makes me scream without worrying about other people hearing me. The kind of sex that makes me forget everything in my world but forces me to feel instead. The kind of sex that makes me come so hard I see stars for days.”
I’m a wannabe next to him, posing as someone I’ve always wanted to be . . . trying to be on the right side of perfect.
Knowing that the person you feel the most connected to, the person you know deep down in your soul you’re supposed to be with is with someone else and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s like living in hell every damn day of your life with a three-hundred-pound man sitting on your chest making it impossible to breathe when they’re around.” Yep. He gets me.
sometimes love can be a steppingstone, a path to the person you’re truly supposed to be with.”
I told her this wise person once told me that relationships can be steppingstones toward the person you’re supposed to meet, the person you’re supposed to be with.”
it feels like I’ve been on the wrong side with every relationship I’ve had. I’ve thought I’ve found the person but turns out, I’m the one pushing them toward the right side while I stay on the wrong, never finding the right person.”
They always say the mistakes you make shape you into the person you presently are.
But I need to learn to love myself first, and right now, I’m not sure I’ll ever get there. Right now, I’m barely strong enough to walk away to try to save myself.
I love you so much that I’m saving you from the self-destruction that’s churning inside of me. I can’t be healthy for you. I can’t figure out my life and be the woman you need. You need to be safe and focused in your plane, not worrying what I’m doing at home, if I’m out of bed, if I’m able to climb out of this pit of despair I feel myself sinking into every minute of every day.” Because I have no idea if I will be able to get out of this pit. The surface, the light, seems so fucking far away.
“It’s really how we let the fucked-up part of our life affect us that defines who we are as a person.”
I won’t stop loving you. I won’t stop writing. And I won’t stop feeling you everywhere I go. You’re ingrained in my soul.
There is no way to measure perfect, not in this world, not when everyone is imperfect in their own right.”
“The left side of perfect is the kind of soul-baring perfect that shows your every flaw for the world to see . . . the imperfect.”
You’ve made me see colors I never thought existed. You make me laugh. You make me smile. You make the world around me come alive with a small kiss from your beautiful mouth. You brought me back to life after I spent years walking a desperate and lonely path.
You were made for me, and it might have taken us a while to realize it, but now that I’ve had you, I know deep in my soul you are meant to be mine. And I will die trying to make you believe the same thing. Just like there is a right and left side of perfect, there is a right and left side of forever. The left side of forever represents the relationships that come and go in your life but have had an impact on the person you’ve become. The right side of forever provides the relationship that stays with you, the relationship that’s imprinted itself so deep into your bone marrow that you live and
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heart.” I press her hand against my chest. “You’ve rooted yourself inside here with no chance of getting out. You’re mine, made for me, my forever. I was just waiting for you to realize that.”
For once, when I look in the mirror, I see the girl you see, and she falls on the left side of perfect and on the right side of your forever.”
It’s not just about love, but about friendship. It’s easy to fall in love, to be infatuated with another person, but what makes a love last a lifetime is the foundation it’s built from.
She’s the left side of perfect. She’s the right side of my forever. She’s my everything.
