But their pride in me was wasted. I didn’t want their approval for something I felt obligated to give them. I had compromised my own moral code to satisfy a bunch of guys that at some point had been pressured into doing the same. The cycle remained unbroken. They didn’t understand the gravity of what had just taken place—that something priceless had been taken from me. And I wasn’t about to tell them. For all they knew, this was one more notch in my belt, one more time in the ring. But it was during the drive home that it became real. I had changed.
