So, if the parent has lost it, it is his responsibility to restore the interpersonal bridge. This should not take the form of abject apologies, and promises not to be “mean” any more. Assuredly, we will lose it again—no point pledging not to. Restoring the bridge simply means acknowledging that we see what has happened and understand how the child might feel about it and hearing nondefensively what the child has to say. When she expresses her feelings about the negative interaction—and even if she does so in a form difficult for the parent to take—the parent does not explain himself or try to
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