A strong defense is there only because there is threat, and the child is threatened only because a strong sense of his own self has not developed sufficiently. So the root of the problem is that rather than being too powerful, the inner core of self, the true will, is stunted. This is why the various epithets such as stubborn, willful and so on indicate not a strong will but the lack of one. An emotionally self-confident person does not have to adopt an oppositional stance automatically. She may resist others’ attempts to control her, but she will not do so rigidly and defensively. If she
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