We may believe we have a perfect idea of why they act as they do, when in reality our beliefs reflect no more than our own anxieties. Whenever we ascribe a motive to the other person, as in “you are doing this because…,” we discard curiosity and immobilize compassion. The person who knows has nothing to learn, has given up on learning. “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few,” said the Zen master Shunryu Suzuki. It is good to be aware that we are beginners as we approach the ADD child.
