“Many people have a hard time accepting the idea that they have searched for partners who resembled their caretakers,” writes the family therapist and educator Harville Hendrix. “On a conscious level, they were looking for people with only positive traits—people who were, among other things, kind, loving, good looking, intelligent, and creative… But, no matter what their conscious intentions, most people are attracted to mates who have their caretakers’ positive and negative traits, and, typically, the negative traits are more influential.”
