Battle Scars: A Story of War and All That Follows

by Jason Fox

Most people in my position wouldn’t have confessed to feeling rinsed psychologically.

memory that created a tsunami of heavy emotions.

Moments of calm collided with moments of combustion. Life felt dangerously unpredictable, 24/7.

My work with individuals involves using mindfulness and presence, and nature-based work …’ She rounded up our session by asking me what I liked in life, to list the things that made me really happy. ‘Adventure,’ I said. ‘Having a purpose, being part of something with meaning. Taking risks and pushing myself.’

you’re not broken,’ she said. ‘This is a process about discovering again who you are, beyond these experiences. You’re having a normal reaction to extreme events. You don’t need fixing, just the chance to be who you are. A space where you can be honest with yourself and deal with the truth of it. Is that something you think you’d want to do?’ I nodded.

I reckon it might well be a self-defence mechanism, my mind distancing itself from what I was going through.

He describes still being very emotional and crying easily and becoming distressed by things that would not have previously bothered him. He said his emotional state is more volatile in general, becoming tearful at times and angry at others …’

PTSD had forced me into a state of hyper-alertness.

This, in layman’s terms, meant that I was constantly scanning for threats.

ramped up in order to assess situations for danger and risk to life. My fight-or-flight mechanism was constantly in operation.

If you’re in a hyper-alert state, you’re scanning for threat. Mindfulness is different. You’re looking at things as they are; you’re asking yourself to notice the environment and everything that’s happening now.

on. I had to anchor myself to the here and now instead. From there it was my job to work alongside the past because there was nothing I could do to change it.

What is it that brings you aliveness? What is it you like doing? She

To experience PTSD is, as Jason alludes to, like losing one’s touch with the world and finding yourself alone in your thoughts. For some people it manifests as anger and irritability, for others as shame, and for many, a hyper-vigilance to fear that cannot be switched off. But to reach out and be allowed to be, just as you are, can help you find the way out.

It was purposeful choosing to be there, in the wilderness. It is, for many reasons, the best

environment in which to find oneself; a sense of calm, presence and belonging come much easier.

The natural world has a calming influence on our ...

A strong person is someone who knows their weaknesses and knows how to control them, or at least manage them. They’re someone who knows themselves to a certain degree.’

Nothing’s ever as bad as you think it’s going to be.

I had made another bold stride into an exciting and rewarding new life.

listen to my heart, and my heart had told me to seek out adventure.

The time had come to forget about the past and stop worrying about the future. It was about living in the now.

It’s just that everyone is different, but everyone has different things that they need to do to keep them busy. Keep them happy busy. Busy happy.’

Do they suffer from the same things I’ve suffered from?

Hopefully, the readers of this book every now and then might think, “Bloody hell, I can draw some parallels here.”

No matter who we are, what we do, or what path our life has taken, we carry mental baggage around with us. Think of that load as a glass of water. The ideal liquid setting would be around the half-full mark, but our depths can change constantly – hourly, daily, weekly, monthly – and drastically. Should the vessel become overloaded – say, with a mental injury – the water level is likely to be near the brim, where adding the smallest of drops can be enough for the glass to overflow, which then throws us into a spin.

Pause. Find some space to breathe. Then plan the next step.

ultimately we decide how best to manage the issues facing us.

Striving to become the best version of ourselves is an option available to everyone, so why not keep working towards that goal? That’s a real personal development, no matter what the past may have done to us. Positive change is always possible; rethink your thinking.