The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity―and Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race

by Daniel Z. Lieberman

Addicts crave drugs. They use drugs even when drugs destroy their lives, but most of them know they’re harming themselves. They’re not completely deceived by the chemical. They’re ambivalent: part of them wants nothing more than to use drugs, but there are other, weaker desires as well. Those desires can be strengthened. There may be a desire to be a better spouse, a better parent, or to do better at work. The drug addict may see their bank account drain away, and wish for the peace of mind that comes with financial security. Or they may wake up feeling sick every day, and wish they could go back to the time when they were strong and healthy. None of these desires is able to provoke dopamine release the way drugs do, but desire not only gives us motivation to act; it also gives us patience to endure. In motivational enhancement therapy (MET), patients tolerate feeling resentful and deprived, the punishment of disappointed dopamine, because they know it will lead to something better. The goal of the therapy is to stoke the flames of desire for a better life. MET therapists build up motivation by encouraging their patients to talk about their healthy desires. There’s an old saying: “We don’t believe what we hear, we believe what we say.” For example, if you give someone a lecture on the importance of honesty, then have them play a game in which cheating is rewarded, you’ll probably find that the lecture had little effect. On the other hand, if you ask someone to give you a l...