Not So Nice Guy

by R.S. Grey

Oh, and then of course there was that one time I forced myself to dress up as slutty Hermione (his weakness) for Halloween and tried to seduce him. He told me I looked more like frizzy-haired Hermione from the early years and less like post-pubescent Yule Ball Hermione. Cue quiet meltdown.

For 1300 days, I’ve been best friends with Ian Fletcher, and for 1300 days, I’ve convinced myself I’m not in love with him. I just really, really like pennies.

Oh, and there was the Halloween party last year when she dressed up like Hermione and I tried to kiss her and she

laughed in my face…and then puked on my shoes.

“Oh, perfect. Let’s skip Tinder and just hook me up with her then.” “She’s 68.” “First date at Luby’s? Senior discount?”

Are there people walking around this planet who don’t like chocolate?

After that mishap, I’m The Flash through the remainder of the dye job.