Not So Nice Guy

by R.S. Grey

As Shakespeare said, Shit’s fucked, yo. No point in trying to correct it now.”

I went to her classroom to force her to talk to me and there was an elderly woman sitting at her desk. My first thought was, Wow, stress really does age you.

She could ask me if my great-grandparents are dead and I’d grin from ear to ear and exclaim, YOU BETCHA, DEAD AS A DOORNAIL!

“Yes, Mrs. O’Doyle, you may go sit on a pineapple.”