Things I Learned in the Night

by Emily Byrnes

she still saw value in something so broken.

I wonder, will I metamorphosize, or die inside this chrysalis they call adolescence with sticky wet wings that will never get the chance to unfurl and feel the sun.

(There’s a reason you’re here. There is meaning in your journey. There is recovery. There are better brain days. There are fewer tears. There are smiles that aren’t so forced. There is happiness. Believe that.)

Please don’t blame me for running; the universe has lit so many fires under my feet I’ve been conditioned to flee at the sign of a spark.

It could be worse doesn’t make it feel any better now, does it?

I guess this is what the end feels like; like pretending we’re enjoying the rain, when really we’re just hoping it fills the silence so we don’t have to.

It’s funny how boring normalcy seems until it is ripped away. Things we take for granted

I’m surviving, but there’s no enjoyment and I have to wonder why the universe would dangle something so perfect in front of me if I cannot indulge in it a little.

Mederma for my scars, foundation on my chin, dark jeans on a hot summer day because I don’t like the color of my legs. Do you do it, too? Do you cloak your insecurities and hope they don’t show through?

I've always loved order; schedules, plans, ducks in a row. But you are scattered all over like rainbow pieces of a kaleidoscope and I'm starting to think there's something to be said for chaos. Type A

Listen to the songs that hurt; they belong to you.

I love too hard and watch it die and never, ever understand why.

I’ve been hurt enough to know that when the storm alarm sounds, I’ve got to put up my walls or get out.

I find you in all the parts of me I’m too afraid to let go of.

I find you in those places and forget that part of growing is always l e t t i n g g o.

stay young while you can, keep your imagination keep your wonder, your joy, your drive for creation.