Things I Learned in the Night

by Emily Byrnes

ticket stubs from movies I don’t remember because I was too busy exploring the mouth of a boy I do, and crinkled petals from a golden sunflower that said you still love me.

I watched her drop a mug, pick up each piece and glue it back together like it was the holy grail. I fell in love that day, not because she was clumsy or cute, but because she still saw value in something so broken. The time I fell in love in a coffee shop

We grow round and supple with age; a little thicker in the thighs, a bit rounder in the middle. We are so full, yet we look in the mirror and try to convince ourselves we’re not pretty anymore because the magazines tell us our soft and our stretch marks aren’t beautiful. But go to the mango tree, seek out a fruit, and tell me you won’t pick the fullest, ripest one.

karma isn’t magic, it’s the action of reaping what you sow.

I learned how to hear without listening.

How to ride in a passenger seat in deafening silence when all I can think about is screaming, and how to close the door quietly when I want so badly to slam it into the earth.

How to crawl into my bed like an injured dog and lick my wounds; my pride, my innocence, my heart.

not to weep over someone who will not matter in a year or two or ten.

you cannot feel a rainstorm when you’re already wet.

(There’s a reason you’re here. There is meaning in your journey. There is recovery. There are better brain days. There are fewer tears. There are smiles that aren’t so forced. There is happiness. Believe that.)

Please don’t blame me for running; the universe has lit so many fires under my feet I’ve been conditioned to flee at the sign of a spark.

It could be worse doesn’t make it feel any better now, does it? Unhelpful Help

The heart wants what it wants

If the river drowned you, would you say it was out of love? Was Vesuvius romantic just because two lovers died in each other’s arms, preserved in ash for all time? The answer to those questions is no, so why do we keep using love to justify pain? Love Does Not Hurt

like a cuckoo who lays its eggs in another bird’s nest and watches as it single-handedly destroys a family and justifies it with instinct.

It was like watching a flickering candle near an open window; we knew our flame was going to burn out, we just didn’t know how long it would take.

forever is so easy at eighteen and so easy to forget by twenty three.

I guess you could say I’m more cicada than butterfly.

I’m surviving, but there’s no enjoyment

who the hell knows where the finish line is, anyway.