The experts are aligned when it comes to how to recommit: Don’t expect some ultimate solution to the big disagreement in your marriage. Overwhelm the negative by increasing the positive. Swamp negative interactions with the five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and personal touch. Recommitment is the time for “Can we take a walk this afternoon?” and “You relax. I’ll vacuum.” This is the time for what Abraham Joshua Heschel called “an ecstasy of deeds.” You do a mitzvah, a good deed, and then you do another, and each one creates “luminous moments in
...more
