But couples don’t realize what their central disagreement is until they are in it. Sometimes the disagreements are deep and moral or philosophical. But some of the most troublesome ones can be superficial but devastating. Sometimes it is time (he’s prompt, she’s late), or money (she’s thrifty, he’s profligate), or neatness (she’s neat, he’s sloppy), or sex (he likes it every day, she likes it every week), or communication (he’s a bottler, she’s a spiller), but it’s going to surface, and when it does, blood will flow.
