Help Me!: How Self-Help Has Not Changed My Life

by Marianne Power

The familiar wash of Catholic guilt poured over me.

To kickstart the day I went out for a power walk, muttering: ‘I do it all easily and effortlessly . . .’ I didn’t know if this was a smart way to reprogramme my subconscious mind or just a new form of procrastination.

My greatest dream was to be called Sarah, have brown hair and to have a dad who drove a Ford.

hmm

Next to me Rachel was pinning pictures of picnics in the sun, country cottages and people around a table laughing. Her Vision Board looked like her life right now, full of simple pleasures, good food and good company. Not a designer handbag in sight.

She didn’t download £10 productivity apps, she wrote to-do lists on the backs of envelopes and crossed off every task.

That night we watched X Factor. A crying teenager was sent off. ‘This is very cruel,’ said Mum. ‘We’re no better than the Romans.’

You can set goals and work towards them but you must give the most attention to the step you are taking now, not the end destination.

Be honest. Be kind. See the funny side. Exercise. Laugh. Lighten up. Have the difficult conversations and do the difficult jobs. Don’t run away. Speak your mind quietly, clearly and respectfully. People are not mind-readers. Spit it out. Work hard and enjoy it. Take pride and satisfaction in your abilities, they are greater than you think. Have confidence. Go for the big things – why not? What’s the worst that can happen? Failure won’t kill you. Say no. Say yes. See the good in people, don’t judge. Listen, understand, forgive. Have fun. Be patient. Nothing is forever. Cherish the day and cherish the people in your life – you are so lucky to have them. Be humble: you’re no better than anyone else and no worse either. We’re all trying our best, we’re all the same, really. Love with all your heart and learn from everything. When things are hard, know that it will pass and none of it matters that much anyway. You’re just a little dot passing through, so make the most of it. Sing, dance, look at the sky and be grateful. If in doubt, tidy up and make a plan – sometimes it helps to get out of your head and get practical. Most importantly, though, have a cup of tea (or glass of wine) and remember this: You’re doing great. You really are.