Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator

by Gary Noesner

Before we can influence others we must first listen and understand. Listening is the cheapest concession we can ever make.

“paradox of power”—the harder we push the more likely we are to be met with resistance.

“People want to work with, cooperate with, and trust people that they like.” It’s hard to like someone who is threatening you or challenging you.

We know that people want to be shown respect, and they want to be understood. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make.

If we cannot control our own emotions, how can we expect to influence the emotions of another party?