Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator

by Gary Noesner

Before we can influence others we must first listen and understand. Listening is the cheapest concession we can ever make.

In the negotiation business we call this a “one-way dialogue,” where the goal is to address concerns that may not have been articulated, and answer questions that haven’t been asked.

Fred taught us that the key to successful negotiation was to discern the subject’s motivation, goals, and emotional needs and to make use of that knowledge strategically. Once we understood the hostage taker’s real purpose, we had a better chance of convincing him that killing the hostages would not serve that purpose and would only make an already bad situation worse.

Contain. Open communications to deescalate tension. Stall for time. Lower expectations. Make him bargain for everything.

“People want to work with, cooperate with, and trust people that they like.” It’s hard to like someone who is threatening you or challenging you.

The FBI always said that families came first, but that was not true. The needs of the Bureau always took precedence over family.

We know that people want to be shown respect, and they want to be understood. Listening is the cheapest, yet most effective concession we can make.

But what inexperienced crisis managers don’t realize is that if it was that easy for troubled individuals to open up to friends, many of these situations would never happen in the first place. It is often easier for a well-trained stranger to develop the necessary relationship with an emotionally troubled subject.

time can be a tool that allows anger to dissipate and better options to enter into the mind of the subject. We never put a deadline on ourselves. Time limits force a decision, yes, but it may be the wrong decision.

The psychological makeup of traditional law enforcement officers tends to include a fair amount of classic controlling behavior, though they may not be self-aware enough to realize it on any conscious level. That typical law enforcement profile can also include a fair amount of arrogance.

Despite having a learning disability, he had memorized large passages of the Bible at a young age and could string together seemingly unrelated verses of scripture to prove any point he wished. He told his followers that he was both the son of God and a sinner—the sinful messiah. He alone was able to drink alcohol, have sex with most of the women, have air-conditioning in his room, watch television, and avoid doing any physical labor at the compound. In essence, he told his followers to do as he said rather than as he did.

Managing a crisis properly depends on managing information. In the NOC we posted situation boards on the walls that enabled everyone to stay up to date with critical information.

The very first thing I talk about when training new negotiators is the critical importance of self-control. If we cannot control our own emotions, how can we expect to influence the emotions of another party?

Once again I made the case to Jamar that positive behavior—the release of individuals—needed to be met with positive reinforcement, not humiliating punishment. This is one of the most basic tenets of psychology going back to Pavlov. If you want to train your dog to fetch a newspaper, you don’t kick the dog when it brings you the paper.

But if we had learned one thing from Waco, it was the lesson about not letting our own emotions overpower our responsibilities.

Federal law enforcement had definitely internalized the first and most basic lesson of Waco—the ATF’s fatal mistake in not trying to arrest David Koresh when he was outside and away from his followers.

Family members sometimes criticize police for not letting them speak with loved ones during a crisis incident. In truth, the police rarely know enough about the existing relationships between the perpetrator, family members, and friends to take the risk.

The fact that a hostage is taken and held by a terrorist group isn’t the most important factor to consider when developing an effective resolution strategy. What’s more important to understand is what the terrorists are trying to achieve.

But saying we will not negotiate with terrorists has never been shown to protect American citizens from being kidnapped abroad. In fact, Americans remain among the most sought-after individuals to kidnap.