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“In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments—there are consequences.”
That night was … well, it held dark magic for me. I let myself fall into the shadows of the world, so I didn’t have to pretend there was any light left. When I did that, when I tumbled and twisted through the void, they caught me. The four of them.
Guess I was born ruined, but now I’m dressed in sin. It’s an outfit I wear like a designer dress, as proud of it
as a red-carpet gown, something to show off. It’s in my blood, that awful, awful blood that I share with Cat.
“Let’s make a pact, okay? No matter what happens, you have my back, and I have yours.”
Ruination. We were both built for it. Guess we get to ruin each other.
“Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I’ve a call,” he reads, frowning and then turning back to me. “Sounds like you.”
they’ve likely given their permission, but permission from a place of submission is often just coercion at its finest.
Cursing is an art, but I’m painting with a sloppy brush right now.
“I would choke on a fairy tale,” I tell him, and that’s the truth. “Too sweet, too cloying. I was born ruined, Crown.”
“I don’t need that. I need the four of you to trust me, to treat me like a human being. Be my armor against the rest of the club. Let me thrive like a fern beneath the shadows of the trees.”
it were sunny, the fern wouldn’t do well. Under the trees, it thrives. Its function in the world is different, but it’s no less important.”
“This is a resurrection fern. It grows out of the tree, but it doesn’t hurt it. They have a symbiotic relationship.”
“Don’t let your past mistakes haunt you; let them guide you instead. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”
passion has ruined me. Passion has tainted me. But passion is also the only thing keeping me going right now. Joy, as I’ve said before, is so fragile. Passion, on the other hand, burns like fire and destroys everything in its path. It’s meant to cause destruction; it’s meant to burn.
I’m boneless, breathless, broken. He makes me feel broken with his touch, his love, because it isn’t something I ever really believed I could have. “Look at me,” he repeats, and this time, I do. I look at him as he starts to move inside of me, deep and slow, staring into my eyes, marking this moment in time. Just like I wanted. I could not forget this if I tried.
He comes inside of me with a deep, satisfied groan, something so strong, so primal, that it gives me chills. He’s giving himself to me with this orgasm, committing to me, sacrificing his own wants—to have a girl all of his own—to give me what I need.
“Don’t be contrary for contrary’s sake,”
I’m taking four lovers with me to the bridal shop. Four lovers, a future nun, and my estranged mother. How exciting.
