The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

by Ron Lieber

“If you’re withholding all that responsibility, kids get all the privileges with none of the opportunity to build

capacity,” she said. “And that’s what we’re talking about here, building capacity for children.”

Every one of them would pay for the first semester of college tuition themselves. To do this, they would need as much as $15,000 each. “The idea of having them pay for a semester isn’t the big thought,” explained Winerip. “It’s implanting a work ethic at a very young age that’s crucial.”

“symbolic deprivation.”

The deprivation isn’t so much about keeping children away from kids who are exactly like them or exposing them to those who are much different. Instead, it’s about reminding them that they don’t need air-conditioning, travel teams, electronic gadgets, or even electricity to enjoy themselves. In fact, the camps that have few to none of those amenities may provide some of the best perspective of all.

The goal is not to make our children feel bad about whatever advantages

they have or to shun those advantages as they grow older. Nor should parents feel as if they have to apologize to their kids or anyone else for their own good fortune. Having more than enough money is a great thing. What we don’t want, however, are children who have no curiosity about people who are different from them and no understanding of what it might be like to have less. We’re trying to imprint sensitivity and a lack of presumption that everyone is alike in their resources and the choices available to them.