The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money

by Ron Lieber

I call it Dewey’s rule, and it stands for the idea that parents should try to arrange things so that, on average, their children end up in the 30th percentile of stuff. If 10 kids in a community are eventually going to get a car, then your child should have the 7th nicest out of 10. Or if your children are in the 50th percentile on cars, then perhaps they should be 9th out of every 10 to get a smartphone. It’s just a rough average to shoot for, not a hard-and-fast every-time law. And different parents may find themselves in special circumstances or may not have enough willpower to wait beyond, say, the 50th percentile. But kids should learn to wait for at least some things, to consider carefully the things they crave, and savor them once they arrive. Maybe it’s fine to be a little jealous, while not feeling utterly deprived.