Another way we can try to extricate ourselves from the entanglements of a he said, she said, what-did-they-really-mean debate is to rename it. Instead of slogging through what exactly happened to get you there and whose fault it was, wrap everything—all comments and feelings and innuendo and assumptions—into a single package and give it a new name. Call a time-out, and then sum up the entire messy situation for what it is and label it accordingly. Instead of referring to the problem as a mess or disaster or even a problem, rename it a miscommunication.
