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As activists and as healers, it sometimes can become a habit to deny our internal unaddressed, unhealed pain, and to focus solely on all of the pain that exists out in the world outside of our bodies. We must come back to ourselves. We must remember to take the time to connect on a heart-level with one another to heal our own buried pain, while also grappling with social injustices. They cannot be separated lest we continue to be divided, lest our souls be lost to ourselves.
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To be a traumatized person, then, is necessarily to experience time non-linearly - to contain suspended pockets of time inside one’s body between which one moves involuntarily. To be triggered is to be punted from a linear (“present”) experience of time into a stalled (“past”) one, a state that lies dormant in the matter of the living body until activated. A trauma trigger is thus a form of time-travel.
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We have been sold the lie of a consistent self and consistent body, but we are not static; we are verbs. We are ever-changing amalgamations of selves, of cells, of emotions, of desires, and of atoms, made up of vastly more empty space than matter. We are constantly in motion. We are change.
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The power of coming out is the power of the seedling breaking free from the seed and slowly, steadily, pushing up through the soil, out of the dark, and reaching towards the sun. Just one blade of grass from a single seed may not change the terrain much, but thousands upon thousands of shoot sprouting from countless seeds of diverse plants can transform a landscape.
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