I Hate Everyone But You

by Gaby Dunn

“Obviously male sports is just a socially acceptable way for males to exhibit homosexual tendencies without repercussions.”

Molly knew everyone there, confirming my suspicions that she is the coolest person at Emerson. Which is a true accomplishment considering the co-creator of Friends is a professor. (Working on getting you an autograph.)

Your mind is a precious vessel that carries all of my most favorite thoughts and feelings. You must protect it at all costs. Do whatever you want with your body.

It’s almost like you didn’t make me watch the Edward Snowden documentary four times.

How’s it going? My mouth hurts. From smiling? Or sucking D? Why would I have to “suck D” to get into a sorority full of women? Gender is not confined to sex organs. Have you learned nothing from me? I’ve been rushing for two days and I’m already dumber.

RTJ

I do like people who grew up in NYC. She can continue to give you that dose of edge that you are missing now that I’m gone. What’s the deal with the BF? Are they open? Everyone at Emerson is open. It’s wild. But makes a lot of biological sense.

Sexuality is like a river, and sometimes it bends right into America’s greatest hero.

YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. Never blame yourself for the physical failings of a man. Their infrastructure is designed for malfunction.

I no longer believe this is a real school.

RtJ

He looks like a male Ellen Page to give you some visuals.

After my full failed comedy routine about the minibar (why would anyone pay more for less?), Jake told me to come to the bed. I asked him if we could put the duvet on the floor because of all the bacteria. He laughed and obliged. Then I asked him to take off his clothes because he had already touched the duvet. I think he thought I was being sexy. I wasn’t.

RtJ

there is no use worrying about something that isn’t actually happening.

Can I tell you the scariest part? I want to be catatonic. If we can figure out some prescription cocktail that takes away my anxiety and obsessive thoughts, sign me up! Even if I have to be asleep the whole time. I am completely exhausted by the prospect of being me for the rest of my life.

QUEER! Once a slur, many in our community have reclaimed the term as a catchall for nonheterosexuality. It is as inclusive as it is vague. It allows me to engage in relationships with any possible person without having to redefine myself. The queer community is vast and beautiful. It is a world that already feels safe yet is begging to be explored. I see no point in excluding anyone from the rich experience that is Gen. After years of silently grappling with my identity, I feel a sense of overwhelming calm. I’m home, babyyyyyyyyy!

“love, commitment, monogamy.” It was that last one that tripped me up. I feel totally ready to love and commit to Alex, but I don’t see why we need to add monogamy on top of that. I don’t think that “only sleeping with one person” means you love someone. If anything, I think it can make it harder to stay in love with that someone. Why have resentment and rules? Why not just have honesty and openness?

“Life is too short for long-term grudges.”—Ava