I Hate Everyone But You

by Gaby Dunn

Writing is a lonely life and I prefer it that way.

#ISHARRYSTYLESBI?

Oh joy more YA authors that are larry shippers. (Like becky albertalli ofc). Actually Harry said his sexuality is unlabeled but this was written a while ago so yes let’s just say he was bi back then bc for some reason I was convinced he said that in an interview (he didn’t, but he has admitted to crushing on Louis and wanting to marry David Hasslehoff)

He’s not bi. You have to get over this.

No. You're wrong.

I feel like no one here genuinely likes me and they are all forming these friendships while I sit around looking like a moron.

And way to sum up my life

It’s like I’m not even there.

When will I find my people? Grad school? Nursing home?

she said too many people already think she’s gay.

So this asshole was upset when her lifelong best friend didn’t want to appear gay but then is totally cool with it when this cool new chick thinks the same way?

Remember when being exceptionally smart was enough to get by?

My parents are the only people on this coast who like me.

Okay at least I have a couple more people on this coast that like me. I have a sibling. And other relatives. I guess being from a big close extended family is good sometimes.

REMEMBER WHEN ZAYN LEFT ONE DIRECTION??

Superb email title. This better not bash Zayn tho bc I like Zayn.

Dan Savage’s

I always forget Dan Savage is gay until I remember that HE LITERALLY WROTE THE REAL ONEALS BASED ON HIS OWN LIFE Or wait is that Fred Savage? I know its not Boy Meets World Savage…it’s the other one

She’s worried that I am isolating myself on purpose so I can reject other people before they have the chance to reject me.

Thank you to this book for also therapizing me. I didn’t ask for that.

It personally worried me to hear a professional use the term “vibe,”

Uhh honey what about a professional comparing anxiety meds to alcohol

(and voting party, but that’s more due to an independent spirit).

Ugh an ~independent~ see I knew I didnt like her opinions on gun control. She was all anti-checking bags for guns.

The best journalist remains neutral and nonaffiliated,

The most well-liked, bc they dont anger people. But the best writers have heart and passion behind what they have to say

You guessed it! chinatownjake! Dressed as Donald Trump.

Oh god no why do I feel like he’d be doing it non-ironically too?

(Christian Bale in Newsies),

No he’s at a musical theater party he’s not Christian Bale from the movie, he’s Jeremy Jordan from the musical

I get that you are 18 and dealing with guys who are too short for you,

This is patronizing

I am now officially down to one real friend,

Aww thats one more than me tho

A few assholes found my Instagram and called me an ugly kike but I blocked them.

Okay this sort of thing does NOT happen in the world of student films that I know of

I don’t understand. You have spent this entire semester obsessing over Alex. First “hating” him and then “loving” him.

Wow sounds like me with a crush

You can’t stop being friends with someone because she’s depressed! ESPECIALLY if you’re a writer.

So, wait, is being depressed and being a writer a ~thing~ ?

I certainly hope you don’t believe we’re fundamentally different now because you’re queer and I’m straight.

OH MY GOD OKAY MOOD MOOD MOOOD MOOOOODD MOOOODDDDD

(I do have to specify pool over beach due to aversion to sand).

I have to disagree but whatever Ava is still me

Like, mentally, I could be 18 or 63. (Oh, man, am I going to flourish at 63. It’s gonna be the new 50.)

This is just such a Danielle line

(Seriously, it feels like I have a word quota and if I don’t meet it every day, words spill out of me at the cash register, which holds up the line and causes a lot of eye rolling. From the cashier.)

Hmm thats like the opposite of “if nobody talked to me, I don’t think I’d ever speak again”

4:17

And I somehow notice this immediately?

My parents want to go get ice cream in December.

And that’s wrong because???