Regardless of whether rape is involved, these crimes are sexual homicides, as they involve men exerting their power over women. Too often women fail to trust their intuition when something doesn’t feel right. Too often they blame themselves for their vulnerability. And too often, for the rest of their lives, they carry the burden of shame for having been violated. John addressed these points in an email to me: “We can be quite effective at punishing ourselves for our perceived sins when what we really
