Surrender (Harris Brothers, #4)

by Amy Daws

Her ring finger is bare. As in no wedding ring. In all the times I’ve seen her, she’s never not had her ring on. Not once. This has to mean something.

“I’ve never had a term of endearment.” I’ve never been inspired to give one, is what I think.

“Tell me what to do. Give me an order. Whatever you want. You’re not out of control right now, Sloan. You are completely in control. With me. I give it all to you.”

Giving her this control is a turn-on like I’ve never felt before.

Fuck me. I’m not even touching her and she’s reacting this strongly. Don’t fucking stop, Treacle.

God, why am I so proud of her in this moment? She’s fucking stunning, that’s why.

I’m completely naked while she remains completely clothed. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever experienced with a woman.

She’s found me hiding in that faraway fantasy land where she’s the queen and I’m hers. All hers.

I do miss her. I miss her face and the effect she has on me. She makes me feel lighter, even if she’s twitching nervously.

A real-life glistening gladiator.

“I can trust myself just fine.” It’s my libido I’m not so sure about.

“Come on, Sloan. I’ve missed you,” he goads, reaching out and taking the garment bag from my hand. “Get your arse in here and let’s catch up.”

“What happened between us was so long ago, Gareth. Honestly, why are you still thinking about it?” Surely he’s had at least a dozen other women since then. “Because I can’t stop thinking about it.” His eyes are dead serious. They strike right through me, saying words I never could have imagined him saying. “I’m not a bullshitter, Sloan. I don’t play games. I don’t chase women. But if I go a year and still can’t stop thinking about a person, I’m bloody well going to do something about it.”

“Friendly friends,” he replies. “Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Gareth: Because I liked pleasing you. Pleasing you pleased me. It’s a full circle act, you see. Did you like having the control?

Gareth: Because it allowed me to not be the person everyone depends on. It let me forget all the rubbish in my head and just feel. So much of my life has been tied to my past and my future. Having you in charge helped me stay in the present.

I want the side of you that you don’t show to anyone else. You’ve shown it to me once and I can’t get it out of my head.

it’s not about what I want. It’s about what you want to give me.”

“I feel like I’m on top of the world! I feel like I can move mountains. Like I can do anything! I feel like I can start creating my own designs again. Hell, I want to start a charity. I want to cure cancer. I want to fucking live!”

“Sloan, there’s not a thing wrong with a single inch of your body. You are so fucking sexy, I thought I was going to blow it in my jeans tonight when I opened the door and saw you in that trench coat.” I fork my hand through my hair and exhale slowly, anger coursing through my veins because she didn’t get insecure alone. Someone didn’t tell her how fucking perfectly beautiful she is every day, and that someone needs his arse kicked. “And if I wanted a girl, I’d go out and get one. But I don’t. I want a woman. I want you.”

“I don’t want you to dominate me, Sloan. I just want to surrender to you.”

“Treacle, I want to surrender to you because I sense that it’s been a long time since you’ve been with someone who put your needs first.” He

“You were a mess until you weren’t…Until you took control. Until you asked me to kneel. Then you were the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever seen in my life.

But at some point, I stopped looking at my reflection. I was focused on the clothes, and the hair, and the makeup, but I didn’t actually see the person staring back. Maybe it’s because I didn’t like who I saw. But I like who’s staring back at me now. I like her a lot.

“Sometimes when you love someone too much, your heart is louder than your head.”

“I don’t want to kill this memory. I want you to stay, Mummy. I hate Heaven!”

“Touch has a memory. O say, love, say. What can I do to kill it and be free.”

“I deserved a better father. But I don’t want you thinking I’m some rich prick who was raised around other rich pricks. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

Even when he smiles, he has sad eyes with an almost haunted look that screams mystery.

Asking for a recipe is a mom move. Super mom move. You don’t ask for recipes from the guy you’re fucking.

Brushing shoulders as we stand next to each other by the sink is some kind of kinky foreplay that probably only a mom would get turned on by.

“I’m just trying to figure out how a beautiful, strong woman like you could think she needed a man to make her feel stable.”

“Like a fucking lioness. And any rightful king would be a fool not to bow to his queen.”

I’ve spent my entire life using my head to handle things and look where that’s gotten me. Perhaps now it’s time to say “fuck it” and use my heart for once. My heart is not submissive, though. It will not surrender. It will fight back.

I couldn’t help but think, ‘Bloody hell, she’s the most fearsome mother I’ve ever laid eyes on!’”

I finally don’t feel alone and terrified that I’m doing this motherhood thing all wrong. Someone supports me. Someone believes in me. Someone whose opinion I value more than I realised.

We are connected. United. She’s embracing me completely and it feels fucking fantastic.