The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People

by Gary Chapman

Steven Covey, author of the bestselling The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, felt so strongly about people’s need for appreciation that he stated: “Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival, to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.”1

We agree with Buckingham and Clifton who state in their bestselling book, Now, Discover Your Strengths: “To excel as a manager, to turn your people’s talents into productive powerful strengths, requires an additional, all-important ingredient. Lacking this ingredient … you will never reach excellence. The all-important ingredient is Individualization.”

Appreciation in the workplace is directly related to employee engagement. The degree to which employees feel appreciated is one of the core factors the Gallup researchers found to significantly impact the level of employee engagement in organizations.2 A Glassdoor survey found four out of five employees (81%) say they are “motivated to work harder when their boss shows appreciation for their work.”3 Forbes recommends demonstrating appreciation for employees’ contributions as a means to increase employee engagement.4 Employee engagement has been found to be three times more strongly related to intrinsic motivators than extrinsic rewards,5 and intrinsic motivation is a stronger predictor of job performance than extrinsic rewards.6

Belief: Most managers (89%) believe employees leave for more money, while only 11% of managers believe employees leave for other reasons.12 Fact: In reality, only 12% of employees reported leaving for more money,13 while 88% of employees state they leave for reasons other than money. In fact, the reasons most often cited by departing employees were more psychological in nature—including not feeling trusted or valued.

morale in both the public and private sectors.”26 The cost (overt and hidden) of staff turnover includes the combination of advertising and recruitment of new employees, candidate travel, the costs associated with selection, hiring, assignment, orientation, signing bonuses, and relocation.27 The cost to the US economy has been estimated to be at least five trillion dollars a year.28 For individual organizations the cost of replacing employees has been estimated to be:29 • 30–50% of annual salary for an entry-level employee • 150% of annual salary for mid-level employees • 400% of annual salary for high-level or highly specialized employees. The impact of appreciation on staff turnover is dramatic: • 79% of employees who leave their jobs voluntarily cite a lack of appreciation as a key reason for their leaving.30 • 66% of current employees report they would quit if they felt unappreciated.31 According to a study by Bersin & Associates, companies that provide ample employee recognition have 31% lower voluntary turnover rates than companies that don’t.32 The competition for skilled team members is fierce and increasing. As a result, the need to hold onto good employees is one of the most critical tasks of organizational leaders today.33 In fact, retaining quality employees has been identified by 87% of HR professionals as one of the highest priorities for their profession.34

But, through polling our training participants over several years, we have found that 40–50% of employees do not want to receive recognition in front of a large group. In fact, one woman reported, “I spent the 15 to 20 minutes prior to getting an award from my company throwing up in the restroom.”

We have had tens of thousands of employees discover their preferred ways of receiving appreciation by taking the Motivating By Appreciation Inventory. At various times, we investigate which languages are most preferred by all employees assessed. Consistently, Words of Affirmation has been the most frequently chosen language of appreciation—approximately 45% of employees. While this is obviously a large majority (and Words of Affirmation is the “best guess” of a colleague’s appreciation language if it is not known), the data also indicates that over 50% of employees value appreciation in forms other than words!

As I (Paul) tell leaders in our Appreciation at Work training, “Just because one of your team values Quality Time doesn’t necessarily mean they want time with you. You may be talented and a great leader, but many people enjoy time with their colleagues. That is where they get their support and encouragement.”1

Our research with over 100,000 employees found that Tangible Gifts is the least chosen language of appreciation through which individuals want to be shown appreciation. Only 6% of employees choose Tangible Gifts as their primary language, and 68% report it is their least valued appreciation language.2

In our initial research, we found that Physical Touch was rarely anyone’s primary language of appreciation in the workplace. And frequently, it was the least important language for most respondents. So, it seemed that when compared to the other four languages of appreciation, physical touch was clearly less important to most individuals in their relationships at work. This data, along with some highly negative reactions by those who had been unfortunate victims of sexual harassment, led us to focus the items of the MBA Inventory on only four languages of appreciation.

More than half of American women have experienced unwanted and inappropriate sexual advances from men: 30% report unwanted sexual advances from male coworkers and 23% have endured them from men who had influence over their work situation.

our research has indicated that about 25% of the population typically speaks one appreciation language but wishes to receive another language. This is especially true for Tangible Gifts. Many people who enjoy giving gifts are not that impacted by receiving gifts themselves.

Employees overwhelmingly choose receiving Words of Affirmation as the primary way they like to be shown appreciation in the workplace. Although almost half of all employees (over 45%) prefer receiving verbal praise as their primary language of appreciation,7 this demonstrates that over half of all employees prefer appreciation communicated in ways other than words. Secondly, even though employee recognition programs heavily emphasize rewards (especially in incentive-based programs), only 6% of employees choose tangible rewards as their primary language of appreciation. As we have seen, for many employees, Tangible Gifts is their least favored way to be shown appreciation. So, by just utilizing verbal praise along with a gift, recognition programs “miss the mark” in communicating appreciation in the ways preferred by approximately half of their employees.

to be an effective leader, you have to learn how to lead those who are different from you.