I only ever had brief and fleeting ideas for things that I wanted to do, but mostly I felt completely overwhelmed by possibilities, and then just went down the list saying no, no, no, not that, not that, until I was playing this idiot’s game of racking up things I was doing that I didn’t want to do in service of some imaginary thing I might one day stumble upon. I try to push this memory out of my mind, but I can’t.
