21 Days of Effective Communication: Everyday Habits and Exercises to Improve Your Communication Skills and Social Intelligence (Effective Communication: ... Skills & Build Strong Relationships Book 1)

by Ian Tuhovsky

Listening is so much more – it’s a way of providing someone else the chance to share their thoughts and ideas, to build emotional intimacy, and to show empathy.

Although taking advice from someone else can be useful, we are most likely to change for the better if we work through our problems out ourselves. Being able to talk freely to an understanding listener is one of the most effective ways of achieving this.

Use non-intrusive verbal and non-verbal signals to encourage them to keep talking:

One of the most useful, fundamental – and difficult – listening skills of all is to keep quiet and let the other person hold the floor. If you are dealing with an angry or frustrated individual, they won’t be able to think clearly until they have offloaded everything that’s on their mind.

When someone shares important information with you, do not speculate about their personal motivations, or why they behave in a particular manner.

Do not interrupt with unsolicited advice: Even if you’ve been in the same situation or faced the same problems as someone else, do not offer your ideas or solutions unless asked for them.

Resist the urge to tell them that you know exactly what they are going through. To put it bluntly, you don’t. Two people can have a similar experience, yet their personality types, upbringing, and previous life events mean that they will not experience the same emotions.

Do not project your own feelings onto someone else. Let them tell you what a situation means for them personally.

By your interruption, you’re insinuating that your thoughts and ideas are more important than theirs.

In a nutshell, a good inclusive communicator takes care not to alienate or offend an entire group of people based on their personal attributes. They do not make assumptions based on an individual’s characteristics. Inclusive communication acknowledges and values diversity.