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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
David Weaver
Read between
October 25 - October 30, 2018
I went from lost to being a boss God, and I just don't want to take anything for granted.
Before you I didn't wanna live another hour, and since falling in love with you, I can't find enough hours in a day to keep my eyes open.
I wake up early every morning just to stare at you for a few minutes. The same way some people wake up and stand on the porch to enjoy the sunrise,
It's crazy everything find love while I suffer~
Never be too willing to expose yourself to your weaknesses. Find ways to curve your weaknesses by forming buffers between your vices and your heart. Putting others in positions of importance puts the burden of execution in such a way that the people elected to carry out these orders raise the bar in order to live up to the level of trust.
He was amazed at how his life had gone from one extreme of depression to another extreme of being a family man in a year's time. He always pictured his life being that way, but deep down inside it was only a fantasy of his; it wasn't reality.
Effort showed that he wanted the relationship just as bad as she wanted it. Effort reminded a woman that she was not alone, and provided her with the fuel needed in order to match her man's strength. A woman couldn't match a man who couldn't show her what to match.
I've been rewarded for my pain. But rewarded pain still existed.
I saw her light, but I could recognize that it was wrapped around her darkest moments and days.
She was much too beautiful and talented… She was valuable to the world, and I was going to make sure that she understood that.
"Uh unh. What's wrong with you baby?" She grabbed my arm like a dude grabbed a chick's arm at the club. "Oh man… Love I really don't wanna discuss it. I just really don't." "That's not the rules we have in our home." She reminded me.
I prayed so much because I knew it was the only thing I could do in a world so vicious and unpredictable.
Not that I didn't believe in God, because I did, but because for the hopeless– the unspoken thought of all of us is that we didn't matter to God.
Her reply shocked me. That just goes to show that insecurity came in all forms and in all people. Nobody on earth was perfect with their thoughts or ways, and there were always mental obstacles present for every level that we were trying to climb to.
For her, it seemed as if she'd dated worthless men for so long, that she found herself trying to explain her value to a man who already knew her worth.
Something about having someone who liked me arose feelings that I never knew I had.
It was a part of me that was all-white-sheet dreams, all ambitions of seeing my enemy resting peacefully in a casket– a part of me that wanted to volunteer as a grave digger and pallbearer free of charge to make sure that that body was lowered into the ground at the correct depth.
It was a part of me that was lifeless. A deep, dark part of me that was death walking and breathing, a section of my soul that had no evidence that God had created it.
I'd never experienced even hearing those words come from a man. I couldn't wait because it was something I dreamed of happening to me. I'd read so many books and seen so many movies where men did it for their women, but I didn't feel it would ever happen to me… until then.
Once he got to learn the real me and my genuine tendencies, would he still adore me the way he did now?
Many times the attempt to change somebody else, ends up changing us.
All that shit was a child's game. I'd had so many women in my past that there was no certain thrill I was seeking at that point of my life other than a continuously cohesive relationship with the woman that I called my wife.
The truth was, every person had flaws, and it was just up to us to determine which flaws we were willing to accept in life, and which ones we knew we couldn't deal with.
What I will tell you however, is that you haven't gotten right with the Lord yet." I could feel the tears starting to form because I knew he was right. I still believed in vengeance and revenge, my heart was still tainted with the residue of street rules.
"I wanna get right with the Lord." I said. "I really do. I'm making an effort." "Stop making an effort and make a decision."
"You wanna hurt people who do you wrong. I can see it on your face. How can you get right with the L...
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Change your life so that you can truly help people, and not just help people when it was convenient for you or when everything was going good for you. Change your life so you can help people with more than money."
You see… it's a difference of when you're doing wrong and don't know better… But make no mistake about it… When you know for a fact that you're going against what God has told you… I wouldn't wanna be around when the ground opens up on you."
I walked in and put my hands out to shake his, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a hug. My defenses disappeared as his fragile arms held me as tight as they could. This was the love I'd been missing in my life. The love of people who wanted nothing from you.
I lived in a dog eat dog world, and even when I wasn't hungry I still had to eat just so that I wouldn't be eaten.
Water fell, a plant grew, the plant died and a new plant grew in its place. Nobody remembers the plant that grew four generations before the current one, and nobody cared. It didn’t matter how pretty the flower was, it still got pulled.
As a family, we were all we needed. Just us. Money was ok, but family was better. Family is how you fought addiction, anger, and flaws. Family is how you were able to survive in such a cold-hearted world. Family is what pulled you through situations that a stranger would bury you in. God. Family. Tears.