Broken Crayons Still Color 2: Based on a True Story
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Read between January 29 - January 31, 2023
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"Remember this too… worry is just a misuse of your imagination. I want you to stop worrying so much and start living."
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God for direction and sound decision making. I asked him for patience and understanding, and for a safety net against the temptations of the world.
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"Your past has your future in prison! You can't and won't stop having bad luck in life until you break the bondages of your past sins. Get forgiveness and grow. Change your life so that you can truly help people, and not just help people when it was convenient for you or when everything was going good for you. Change your life so you can help people with more than money."
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God is a forgiving God. We can't ask for forgiveness if we can't forgive. We can't break the chains of the past, or move on from our mistakes if we can't forgive. When God made us… He knew He'd made a beautiful mess. To make up for the mess that we were about to make out here, He had to add something called Forgiveness to the recipe. See… forgiveness doesn't mean go intentionally do the wrong thing and ask for forgiveness. That's not asking for forgiveness, that's asking God to accept an insult.
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Forgiveness. I didn't intend to hurt you, please forgive me. I didn't mean to do what I did, please forgive me. Or… I recognize that what I did was wrong, and I won't do it anymore, please forgive me. Not… I keep hitting you in the face, please forgive me today and I do it again tomorrow. Forgiveness and insult is different." I listened to a beautiful sermon, and left church that night carrying valuable lessons with me. I was going to fast for seven days, and pray each day in the place of my hunger.
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"God please go to work in me. Deliver me from my demons and make me whole again. Help me to be a better me. I don't want to hurt anymore God please. I ask that you take this depression away, take my addictions away, take my anger away– guide me so that I can guide others. God please take the pain away from the ones I love, remove the hate out of my heart so I can give more love to the ones that I love. I need you God. Protect my family through this journey– wrap your arms around us and keep us out of harm's way."
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she'd grown to become a piece of him and him the peace for her.
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Tears meant replacement. It was the flush of pain, weakness, and hurt with the presence of power. It was the process of washing away the difficult moments so that you could take in the better frames. As a family, we were all we needed. Just us. Money was ok, but family was better. Family is how you fought addiction, anger, and flaws. Family is how you were able to survive in such a cold-hearted world. Family is what pulled you through situations that a stranger would bury you in.