Two Kingdoms (The Dark Side, #3)

by Kristy Cunning

I need a handbook: How to Sync Mensies with Your Harem.

bet that’s in the How to Control Your Harem guidebook. I bet the old, incurably vain me wrote it.

“You fucking told her that shit?” Kai growls. Aww. His angry scowl makes him my favorite. Then again, the bar is set pretty low right now.

“Get her,” Kai says to someone, ear toward the ground like he’s actually concerned something is literally going to eat me. “Go on without me,” I tell them, limply waving them on. “Save yourselves.” Jude snorts while leaning over me, and I groan in protest as he drags me up by my arm, forcing me to my feet.

“Paca!” I hear Ezekiel roar, just as I see two shadows come through the hole. Another two shadows quickly follow before I lose sight of the hole’s entrance altogether. Those idiots are following me?!

“What’s the goal of this?” “Save Princess Peach,” he immediately replies. “Excellent. I’m a rock star at saving ungrateful princesses,” I muse. He chokes back a sound of amusement, and I grin.

“I’m the one with a crown,” I remind him. “No…you’re the one with a lower back tattoo,” Ezekiel drawls.

It’s like howler monkeys crawled up a gorilla’s ass and had a dinosaur baby that fucked a radioactive Godzilla…and had an even worse baby. If any of that makes sense.