Cunk on Everything: The Encyclopedia Philomena

by Philomena Cunk

Even though nobody can see them because they’re black on a black background, scientists know black holes are there because when they ask for money to research them, nobody tells them to fuck off.

Trains use up less resources than other forms of transport because they tend to be cancelled, which is better for the planet. This means people can get on buses instead, and take up space on the roads, which encourages more people to leave their cars at home and get the train, which they can’t, because there isn’t one.

Steam is what you get when you make water absolutely furious.

People get paid different amounts of money so they can buy the things they need. A cleaner doesn’t get paid as much as a millionaire, because millionaires’ stuff is much more expensive. So the system is rigorously fair.