Disgrace

by Brittainy C. Cherry

“Someday, somewhere—anywhere, unfailingly, you’ll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.” -Pablo Neruda

I wrapped my arms around him because even though he was a stupid dog, he was mine.

“How did this happen? Where did we go wrong?” “I don’t know.” He grimaced. “Maybe some things just aren’t meant to be forever.”

Love was a messy emotion that didn’t walk a straight line. It worked in waves and loops of ups and downs. It was a screwy emotion that could somehow still exist amidst the ultimate heartbreak and betrayal.

luckily, my parents taught me that that was all one needed in life. You just needed faith the size of a mustard seed that no matter what, things would work out.

It was nice to know that even when I felt alone, there was something bigger than me to believe in.

“Those times you feel lost and afraid and weak—those are your moments for a breakthrough. Hidden beneath those dark moments is your power. Take those weak moments and make them powerful. Make them matter, Jackson. Make them count.”

Taking a deep breath, I said a small prayer, but it seemed my link to God was a bit delayed at the moment.

“Trust me, sweetheart, just because you know my name doesn’t mean you know me.” He swiped his hand beneath his nose. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“People don’t need nice; they need the truth. I find it ridiculous that a guy has this kind of hold on you. Have some self-respect. It’s insane to give full control of your emotions to someone who doesn’t give a damn about you.”

“So,” she breathed out, giving me a gentle smile. “How about some more wine?”

I love my little sister so much. This line, though simple, is very complex and hits so close to home. Sisters share their hearts with each other over glasses of wine and you kept refilling glass after glass until you physically can’t say anymore.

It was sometimes hard to be God’s follower when the Devil’s whisperings sounded more satisfying.

Sometimes, all a person needed was another to listen to their uneven heartbeats.

“My parents taught me to zoom in, ya know? It’s easy to judge others from afar. It’s easy to look at someone from outside your world and make blanket statements and judgments on who those people are. Because when you see others’ flaws, you somewhat justify that your flaws are better than theirs. But when you zoom in, when you truly look at the person beside you, you’ll see many of the same things. Hope. Love. Fear. Anger. Once you zoom in, you realize we are all similar in so many ways. We all bleed red, and even monster’s hearts can break. Just gotta remember to always zoom in.”

“What are you talking about? This is the best. Books and words, words and books. It’s amazing.”

Plus, maybe it takes more than love to make a marriage last.”

“Everyone’s a hot mess,” he insisted. “Some people are just better at hiding it.”

“Sweet home Alabama, heck yeah!”

You knew a book was amazing when you missed the transition from the sun shining to the sky fading to black.

“It’s one of those stories that just makes you want to yell and scream all at once.” It was the kind of book that made your chest ache, and even though you want to put it down to take a breath, you’d rather flip the page to know more than worry about such a small thing like breathing.

In his darkness, I found my light.

It was so easy to be quiet with him. The silence felt a little like home.

We were from two different puzzles, yet still, we seemed to fit perfectly together.

That was the biggest difference between the two men standing in front of me. Finley always caged me. Jackson allowed me to fly.

“Being an almost mother isn’t a thing. You have seven children, whether they made it here or not doesn’t take away from the fact they existed. They were yours, and they were loved fully if only for those small moments. You are a mother,

Maybe sometimes hearts have to skip in order to keep beating.”

our story had reached its final chapter, and some stories didn’t get the happily ever after. Some stories simply ended.