Until children become capable of independent self-appraisal, our duty is to give them such powerful affirmation that they will not be driven to look elsewhere. Such affirmations go much deeper than positive phrases of love and praise—they must emanate from our very being and penetrate to the child’s core, allowing her to know that she is loved, welcomed, enjoyed, celebrated for her very existence, regardless of whatever “good” or “bad” she may be presenting us with in any given moment. Under no circumstances is it in the child’s best interests to focus on making him likable to his peers. The
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