In soliciting a good intention, we are trying to draw attention not to our will but to the child’s. Instead of “I want you to … ,” “You need to … ,” “You have to … ,” “I told you to … ,” “You must …” elicit a declaration of intention or at least a nod affirming it: “Can I count on you to … ?” “Are you willing to give it a try?” “Do you think you could?” “Are you ready to … ?” “Do you think you can handle it now?” “Will you try to remember?” There are, of course, times when we need to impose our will. Necessary as that may be, it does not by itself lead to good intentions on the child’s part.
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