In Chapter 2, I called peer orientation an attachment affair. When our children abandon us for their peers, we feel just as violated, angry, and humiliated as we would in any other relationship we deeply cared about. It is natural, when wounded, to recoil defensively, withdrawing emotionally to avoid getting hurt even more. This is when the defensive part of our brain gives us the urge to back out of vulnerable territory to a place where insults no longer sting and the lack of connection does not turn the stomach. Parents are only human. Withdrawing our attachment energy may defend us against
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