Sisters First: Stories from Our Wild and Wonderful Life

by Jenna Bush Hager

As teenagers, when we would come to her with teenager-sized problems, she always said: “I promise. There are very, very few things worth worrying about.”

Every day with my girls, Mila and Poppy, I am silently thankful to my parents for teaching me how to be a parent without the pressure of having to create perfect kids. And also to their own parents, who taught them that lesson first.

Above the sound of the waves and the ocean wind, my dad talked to us about alcoholism. He talked about himself, saying that when he was drinking, he didn’t like the person he was becoming. He said that overdrinking ran in our family, and was something that Barbara and I needed to watch out for.

“I love you. There’s nothing you can do to make me stop loving you. So stop trying.”

I’d like to think that may be my ultimate family DNA: Be true to your heart. It’s harder than ever to talk about politics these days. If you love someone, sharing different political views shouldn’t be seen as a personal betrayal. Rather, it’s a chance to hear and consider your loved one’s point of view, while still maintaining your own beliefs.

Today, my Ganny remembers not the sorrow, but the wonderful feeling of her darling daughter’s “fat little arms around my neck.”

But there was a time when the sadness almost broke my grandmother, until she heard my then seven-year-old dad solemnly telling his friends he had to go inside because he needed to play with his mom. After that, she insisted everyone get out and live life, herself included.

This was infuriating to my twenty-one-year-old mind—how could we live in a world where medicines existed but weren’t distributed to places considered “poor” or “complicated”?

We’ve always called my grandmother “the Enforcer,” and on this Christmas, she just wouldn’t give up. She kept stating over and over again all the things that Gampy had to look forward to. She gave him no choice but to live. And so he did.

You have each other, I thought to myself. You can walk through this wild and wonderful life together. You will fight, yes. And you will adapt to each other’s quirks, but you will do it together. You will make your sister feel like she is enough. And for me, your mama, well, that is enough. More than enough. That is everything.