Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope

by Mark Manson

No, being heroic is the ability to conjure hope where there is none.

Hopelessness is the root of anxiety, mental illness, and depression. It is the source of all misery and the cause of all addiction.

When people prattle on about needing to find their “life’s purpose,” what they really mean is that it’s no longer clear to them what matters, what is a worthy use of their limited time here on earth6—in short, what to hope for. They are struggling to see what the before/after of their lives should be.

To build and maintain hope, we need three things: a sense of control, a belief in the value of something, and a community.

intellectually understanding how to change your behavior doesn’t change your behavior.

And it’s not because we don’t know better; it’s because we don’t feel better.

When we screw up, we tend to assume it was some happy accident.26 But when someone else screws up, we immediately rush to judge that person’s character.27

Our values aren’t just collections of feelings. Our values are stories.

there is no such thing as change without pain, no growth without discomfort. It’s why it is impossible to become someone new without first grieving the loss of who you used to be.

The other way to change your values is to begin writing the narratives of your future self, to envision what life would be like if you had certain values or possessed a certain identity.

we attract those into our orbit who value the same things we do, and instinctively repel, as if by reverse magnetism, those whose values are contrary to our own.

So, in the end, it’s all faith.

Ever notice that the most important moments in life are always accompanied by somebody in a robe? Weddings, graduations, funerals, court hearings, judicial committee hearings, open heart surgeries, baptisms, and yes, even church sermons.

Because the only thing that can ever truly destroy a dream is to have it come true.

Hope can be preserved because God is always preserved.

everything being fucked doesn’t require hope; hope requires everything being fucked.

If you have to convince someone to love you, then they don’t love you. If you have to cajole someone into respecting you, then they will never respect you. If you have to convince someone to trust you, then they won’t actually trust you.

The best way to teach someone to love is by loving him.